Wisdom + Honesty = Child

I received these gems from a friend and although I KNOW you will probably have seen or heard one or two of them before, I think they are worthy of sharing. They are supposedly true and far be it for me to doubt that such wisdom and honesty wouldn’t be true.

TEACHER: “Why are you late?”
STUDENT: “Class started before I got here.”

TEACHER: “John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?”
JOHN: “You told me to do it without using tables.”

TEACHER: “Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?”
TEACHER: “No, that’s wrong!”
GLENN: “Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!”
(Love this child)

TEACHER: “Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?”
TEACHER: “What are you talking about?”
DONALD: “Yesterday you said it’s H to O.”

TEACHER: “Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.”

TEACHER: “Glen, why do you always get so dirty?”
GLEN: “Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.”

TEACHER: “Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘ ”
MILLIE: “I is..”
TEACHER: “No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’ ”
MILLIE: “All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’ ”

TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
LOUIS: “Because George still had the axe in his hand…..?”  ______________________________________

TEACHER: “Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?”
SIMON: “No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.”

TEACHER: “Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.. Did you copy his?”
CLYDE : “No, sir. It’s the same dog.”
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

TEACHER: “Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
HAROLD: “A teacher?”

I have to add I didn’t choose the names, although I will say I can’t recall having taught any Winnies, Glenns, Clydes or Harolds in the some 45 years in NZ schools!!! They could have only added to the experience of being a teacher!



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