Gender Of Inanimate Objects

Some languages are very helpful and give gender to everything but English doesn’t for anything but animals and a few inanimate objects (such as ships, for example- they’re always female.) That is not to say, however that all inanimate objects don’t have gender! Oh, no. It just requires us to think about them for a while, after which all becomes clear. For example…

1) FREEZER BAGS– any idea? Well, they are obviously male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.

…see how it goes?

2) PHOTOCOPIERS– They are just as obviously female because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. Also, they are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong ones are pushed!

3) TYRES– Clearly tyres are male- they go bald easily and are often over-inflated.

4) HOT AIR BALLOONS– These, sadly are also male objects- to get them to go anywhere you have to light a fire under their arse!

5) SPONGES– These are definitely female. Why? They are soft, squeezable (and retain water).

6) WEB PAGES– Female. They are constantly being looked at and frequently get hit on.

7) TRAINS– Definitely male because they always use the same old lines to pick up people.

8) EGG TIMERS– Obviously these are female…over time all the weight shifts to the bottom!

Have some fun then leave me a comment suggesting your own reasoning for giving something inanimate gender.


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